Charlotte Stack ’29

BP Editor

Economics – Wolf of Wall Street 

Every economics major has at one point in their life has felt like they were Jordan Belfort from the film “The Wolf of Wall Street.”  For this costume, go into your closet and find a white button-up, a pair of khaki pants and a red tie, if you feel so inclined. 

History – Tucker Carlson

Trinity’s most infamous alum was, believe it or not, a history major. For this costume, throw on a navy blue blazer and a pair of khakis. Fox News logo is optional. 

Political Science – Scary lady that stands behind Trump

Political Science majors are unnecessarily invested with the happenings in Washington, and thus are painfully aware of the president’s advisor, Natalie Harp. To dress like the woman who just won’t leave Trump alone, wear a smart pantsuit or dress and pearls, and make sure that you hover behind your friends the entire night.

Public Policy & Law- Bill from Capitol Hill

The classic “School House Rock” clip with the character Bill from Capitol Hill is the perfect representation of a Public Policy and Law major. What is public policy if not a bill? For this costume, dawn an all-white outfit and use a red ribbon to affix a ‘Bill’ label to it, as the character does. 

Neuroscience – Lab Rat 

Every Neuroscience major has operated on or experimented with lab rats, so it is only fair that they pay homage in their costumes. To do so, wear a grey top and bottoms and a pair of rat ears. And a tail, if you so please.  

Biology – Mitochondria 

According to experts, the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. So why not dress up as one? For this costume, dress in all black and print out a grainy photocopy of what said experts believe a mitochondria looks like. Tape it to your person and become the powerhouse!

Chemistry – Benzene Ring

Organic Chemistry students are often haunted by the hexagonal shape of benzene rings, so why not bring horror to the party and dress like one? Similar to bio majors, dress in all black and print out the shape of a benzene ring for this costume. 

Art History – Mona Lisa

One of the most famous paintings in the world, the Mona Lisa is the best representation of art history majors. To dress like her, wear all black and add a shawl to cover your shoulders. 

Psychology – DSM-5

Psychology majors love to diagnose everyone they cross paths with, so it’s only right that they dress up as their handbook! For this costume, dress completely in purple, the color of the DSM-5.

English – John Keating from “Dead Poets Society”

The captain of all English majors hails from “Dead Poets Society,” so it only makes sense that they dress up like him! Simply wear a white button down and khakis for this costume, with an optional tie or jacket.

Cate Griffin ‘27

Resident Astrologist

Aries (March 21 – April 19): Be patient this week and avoid rushing into decisions, especially in love and finances. Whatever your plans may be this weekend, let this serve as a warning..

Taurus (April 20 – May 20): Focus on stability, comfort, and strengthening your relationships by communicating your needs. Making time for yourself can help you feel more grounded.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20): New conversations and connections could bring exciting opportunities in love or work. Stay focused on your priorities and give yourself time to clear your mind.

Cancer  (June 21 – July 22): Pay attention to your emotions without letting assumptions guide your relationships. Setting healthy boundaries and thinking carefully about decisions will help you protect your peace.

Leo (July 23 – August 22): Your confidence and leadership skills may help you stand out at work or in your social life. However, I would still recommend avoiding social events involving karaoke. 

Virgo (August 23 – September 22): This is a good week to get organized, handle unfinished tasks, and take control of your finances. In relationships, try not to overthink every interaction. (I’m a Virgo too, I know that’s easier said than done…) 

Libra  (September 23 – October 22): Honest conversations can help bring balance to your relationships, especially if you’ve been putting others first. Even though everyone in your group project is totally useless, don’t put all the responsibility onto yourself! 

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21): You may feel ready to let go of old habits and build deeper, more trusting connections. Focus on long-term goals and allow personal changes to happen without forcing everything into place.

Sagittarius  (November 22 – December 21): New experiences, spontaneous plans, or fresh ideas could bring excitement to your week. Stay open to opportunities while making sure your decisions align with your long-term goals. AKA: stay away from jello shots. 

Capricorn  (December 22 – January 19): Consistent effort and thoughtful planning can help you make progress toward your career and financial goals. Make room for relaxation and appreciating how far you’ve already come.

Aquarius  (January 20 – February 18): Your creativity and unconventional ideas could lead to promising opportunities this week. Be honest about your needs in relationships while staying open to perspectives that challenge your own.

Pisces  (February 19 – March 20): Trust your intuition in love and creative pursuits, but make sure important decisions are grounded in reality. Your dreams are not always prophetic symbols telling you to double-text your situationship.

Alex Gervais ’28

Purveyor of Spookiness

On Oct. 19, US News and World Report released their annual list of the spookiest colleges and universities in the nation, with Trinity coming in at a commanding number four. This is an improvement for the College, which came in at number 19 the year prior and number 17 in 2024.

The publication, often heralded for their college ranking lists, uses a methodology balancing campus architecture, history of the college and “that eerie feeling in the pit of your stomach” to create their rankings. The ranking noted Trinity’s gothic architecture and the “lifeless stares of economics majors” as the prime reasons for the high placement in its report. The school’s food was also a primary driver of spookiness, the ranking noting that Trinity students seemed “in a constant state of terror” when within a 200 foot radius of Mather pork loin. 

Some other colleges finishing high in the rankings were Liberty University at number seven, heralded for their “seemingly endless” string of graduates with uncanny valley facial features, and Salem St. University at number three, noted for being in Salem, MA, thus they must be spooky. Taking home the number one spot was American University, the ranking noting that at 2 a.m. each night the student body arises, haunted by the ghost of Paul Ryan’s political career, and collectively presses send on a congressional internship application in unison. 

Across the NESCAC, Wesleyan ranked at number 29, with the ranking calling their student body “downright terrifying to spend time with,” and Hamilton came in a strong 15th, most of their points coming from “nobody really knowing what in the world is going on up there.” 

“We’re happy to report the campus is spookier than ever,” said George M. Terrifying ’85, Trinity’s newest VP of Student Camaraderie and Advanced Returning Excellence (SCARE). “When I was here as a student, the campus was borderline ghoulish, but now we’ve created a really special experience for our Halloween inclined student body… As VP of [SCARE] I’m proud to announce we’ll be rolling out programming in cooperation with the Ghost of Trinity’s Night Life and the English Department; they always like to talk about how their building is haunted.” Terrifying made no indication of programming specifics, although he warns the Tripod’s readers to be on the look out for “those really loose Peter B’s lids” to be making a comeback. “I really see my job as making the student experience at Trinity as grotesquely terrifying as possible.”

Alex Gervais ’28

Exec. Organ Concertgoer

As Halloween approaches on campus, so does Trinity’s annual Midnight Organ concert. Each year, the Chapel fills with the spooky sounds of organ at midnight on Halloween with Bantams watching on from the pews in varied states of drunken stupor. This year, the organ program has decided to take a unique approach, partnering with the biology department for what they’re calling “Midnight Organ²,”  a blend of science and the arts. Students will have the opportunity to dissect lab rats as they listen to the music (a double organ experience, if you will). 

Flyers advertising the event have begun popping up around campus, calling it a “unique liberal arts experience.” The flyers also contain a disclaimer warning potential attendees that supplies of rats to be dissected will go fast, and Bantams will only be eligible to dissect if they checked the organ donor box when they ordered their fake IDs. Students are also warned not to consume any part of the rat during the dissection because any student who returns a fully dissected and uneaten lab rat will receive a $5 Bantam Bites gift card. 

The Tripod spoke to a few interested students to understand their perspectives on the event:

“As a biology major, I’m excited to expand my work beyond the classroom. As someone who has never gone to Midnight Organ not crossfaded, I’m worried about my ability to distinguish between a rat heart and liver while under the influence,” said Acka Demic-Wheapon ’27. “I’m really hoping there won’t be a quiz element.”

“I mean I understand the pun, like yeah, good one,” said Buhz Keel ’29. “What I don’t get is what is added from making students dissect in a dark chapel without any real reason. It kind of feels like this whole thing was just done to appease someone’s super juvenile sense of humor.” 

“I’m worried this campus is spending too much time on puns and not enough on being spooky,” said Laim Oh ’30. “I mean, only fourth in the new spookiness ratings? I never thought I’d attend a Trinity where we put such a high value on wordplay and so little on being the spookiest we can be; it’s Halloween for Christ’s sake! No wonder Tucker is so disappointed with us.” 

“Why can’t we eat the rats?” Phrie Thinkheir ’28 asked the Tripod. “Studies show that formaldehyde ‘poisoning’ is no more dangerous than consuming an undercooked Bistro hamburger, and I do that almost daily. Rats are also a great source of micronutrients, according to Secretary Kennedy. That’s the issue with the liberal arts these days…too much Big Brother trying to tell you what can and can’t do. I thought we were committed to open inquiry at Trinity.” 

Christopher Houlihan ’09, Trinity College’s John Rose Distinguished College Organist, Director of Chapel Music and Artist-in-Residence declined to comment on this article, instead hoping to save the suspense for Midnight Organ².

Artie Fishal ’30

Essay Enthusiast

The following is an real-life excerpt from Artie Fishal ’30’s mandatory essay on AI. It follows an incoherent paragraph about birding and seven-fingered women. The writer showed it to her friends, who asked if she was incapacitated mentally whilst writing—she wasn’t; she’d never do such a thing!

You probably think I’m just joking around to ease you into this essay. Bold of you to think that this isn’t the whole essay. But these jokes truly mean something too. I’m sure Paul Krugman talked about this in The New York Times. It’s the idea that Big Tech will have me using AI in the small things so the big things don’t look so big. If it can infiltrate my friend group and my relaxing time and my hobbies, why can’t it write my essays and make my music? After all, it’s become a trusted confidante for some of my friends. They use it to process childhood trauma and also what Gracie (or Ed, or Olivia, or Sabrina) said to them at lunch. It’s a crutch now, and it’s a bit scary. Oftentimes if my friends need advice they’ll ask the friend group and then ask Chat for a more concrete result. I don’t know. I don’t blame them. After all, most of their peers don’t even have fully-developed brains. At least Chat has all of human knowledge at its disposal. 

I’m surprised because this essay is turning out to be surprisingly good. Maybe I’ll put it on Substack or something. That’s another thing where AI is infiltrating. There’s this pressure on everyone to create, whether it be a book or a magazine or a poem. Some people—and I hate to say this—just can’t create. To catch up to their peers, they rely on AI. I think Suno is a really cool thing, and it’s also terrifying. For those who don’t know, Suno is an AI music creation website, and it actually makes really cool music. You can feed it lyrics and it’ll produce it, or you can just have it write the lyrics and make the music. That’s scary for the B-tier artists, I know Gracie Abrams is shaking in her boots. 

I think that sums up AI in a nutshell. It won’t replace the exceptional people of this world. But the B-tier? They’re in danger. As a college, Trinity should strive for all of us to be truly a specialist in something, because AI is just a high-quality generalist. I don’t know how Trinity should do that, but I think they can figure it out. I’ll be here for four years. You can hit me up for ideas if you must. But I bet you have some high-paid consultants that will help you out. I won’t do this work for free, of course. 

Bye, y’all! 

…Oh. It looks like I haven’t hit three pages yet. What else do I have to say about AI? I think how it’s integrated into things like Grammarly is quite unnerving. That’s because you don’t use Grammarly intentionally to make brand-new writing. You just want it to fix your spelling errors and your weird sentences. That’s what it’s for. You use it after you write. It’s crazy that you can be accused of AI usage for something like Grammarly, and it’s crazy that it’s AI. Everything is AI nowadays. It sneaks up on you. Scary scary. 

Written at 11:59pm.

Cate Griffin ’27

Resident Astrologist

Aries (March 21-April 20)

The Full Moon has just occurred in your sign while connecting to Neptune, which will give you insight into a situation that could lead you to some sort of finality. Maybe your professor will finally answer your e-mail asking for an extension… 

Taurus (April 21-May 20) 

Messy situations involving other people may need to go through a process of review until mid-November, especially if the details were unclear to begin with. This could lead to major changes in your life that will not be fully resolved until next year. The stars are saying you need to end things with your frat situationship, not me. 

Gemini (May 21-June 20) 

Be mindful of any agreements you enter into until late November. This is only the first step of something bigger, so don’t rush into any decisions. Beware of Tap Tuesday. 

Cancer (June 21-July 22) 

You will feel particularly creative from now to early December. Other people may find this difficult to manage, but you should lean into this energy. Take an art class or something. 

Leo (July 23-August 22) 

Mars, the planet of energy and confidence, moves into your sign, where it will remain until November 26. A Leo having more energy and confidence than usual is a little scary, so try to stay grounded during the next few weeks. Avoid social events involving karaoke. 

Virgo (August 23-September 22) 

Someone else’s true intentions may become more obvious, which could alert you to rethink matters. You will continue to question this relationship until early December, which is when things will start to make sense. Your spring break plans will likely not make it out of the group chat. 

Libra (September 23-October 22) 

Your finances may require greater attention this week, which might include curbing spending on things of pleasure. A daily $8 coffee from Peter B’s can’t enhance your quality of life that much…

Scorpio (October 23-November 21) 

Mercury, the planet of thought and communication, is moving into your sign until December 6. Use this time to focus on your grades and work to achieve a sense of balance in your life. Do not text your ex this weekend. 

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21) 

There can be some surprising and pleasant connections involving other people coming your way. Keep an open mind and talk to new people (unless they are suspiciously lurking around H&L in the early hours of the morning). 

Capricorn (December 22-January 19) 

Keep your own priorities in mind, and beware of how your finances could be impacted by the expectations of somebody else. You don’t have to buy a Goyard just because all of your friends have one!

Aquarius (January 20-February 18) 

Some challenges may come up soon involving people from the past. To minimize conflict, avoid common hour Mather. 

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

There can be a lot to think about where your future is concerned. However, we all see the “I’m so excited to announce my summer 2027 internship with JP Morgan” posts on LinkedIn, and they make us all feel like failures too. Remember that you don’t need to have everything figured out yet.

Alex Gervais ’28

Politics Man

After thorough review of Trinity Election Commission (TEC) filings, the Tripod has determined that Pah Litician ’30, a recently elected SGA Senator, received direct contributions from the American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC). The Tripod spoke with Litician to set the record straight on their campaign contribution policies.

“Wait, I can take donations?” Litician asked the Tripod, seemingly unaware her campaign had received funds from any outside source. “Do you think it was the sandwich that dude offered to buy me at the Bistro? I just thought he was being nice and I really wanted to save a meal swipe. Like, it was Monday and I already only had two left.” The Tripod independently verified that this donation was equal to the value of a Bistro caprese sandwich with extra avocado. 

“I mean I’ve heard of AIPAC, who hasn’t? But I couldn’t even find Israel on a map if you asked me to,” said Litician. “I’d say I’m apolitical at best, I really have no idea about what’s going on over there.” 

Litician ran on a platform of turning the Long Walk into moving walkways and increasing the number of small, adorable critters on campus. Her campaign made no mention of Israel. “I’m just kind of confused,” said Litician. “I really don’t understand [AIPAC’s] angle here.” Mysterious mailers also appeared in the mailboxes of each first-year student promoting Litician’s campaign. The mailers were paid for by Concerned Students for a Better Trinity, a 501(c)(4) organization that TEC filings show was created only weeks before the SGA election. 

In a statement released to the Tripod, AIPAC defended their contribution: “We’re proud to support candidates at every level of government, even those with seemingly no actual amount of power, as is standard for SGA Senators.” The statement continued: “We look forward to supporting a respectable bipartisan candidate like Pah Litician. She takes after many great talents before her like Susan Collins and Jake Auchincloss, true get-stuff-done moderates and strong supporters of Israel.”

“Are they going to make a Track AIPAC post about me now?” asked Litician. “Ugh, that’ll definitely go viral on YikYak.”

Brianna Arteaga ’29

Contributing Writer

During my first year at Trinity, I accidentally became the hub of knowledge about Hartford–an array of “Where do I go for good food?” or “Do you know where [x] is at? Can you take me there?” And so today I’ll be sharing my favorite places around Hartford. If you want to ditch Trinity for a day, take a chance on the amazing restaurants off-campus.

1. Chosen 1: Cajun Seafood (2074 Park St, Hartford)

You have not lived if you haven’t had Chosen 1’s Fried Shrimp platter. It is truly a work of art how they managed to make a seafood hater (me at first) into a seafood connoisseur. Open throughout the week from 11:30 a.m to 10 p.m, Chosen 1 is the perfect spot for a group lunch, dinner, or even a solo experience. The service is incredibly quick, and the owners are the sweetest people. The entire layout of the restaurant is themed around an old pirate ship, which is decorated with shells and nets as well as name carvings from family customers. Though pricey at first, you are served an incredible amount of food. For my meal, I was given a large plate of shrimp, a refillable drink, and sauce for 14 bucks plus tip. If you’re looking for a nearby place to eat with friends, check out Chosen 1!

2. Semilla Cafe + Studio (1283 Main St, Hartford)

For those who want a cute study space off campus, Semilla Cafe offers a free art studio with art supplies (which you can take or donate), amazing hot chocolate for just 4 bucks, and incredible breakfast sandwiches. Though the cafe is open every day, hours usually range from 7:30 a.m to 3 p.m so be careful if you’re in a time crunch! In terms of food, Semilla has exemplary brownies, and the staff will heat them if you prefer. The workers at Semilla are the kindest, and will personally serve you your food instead of just calling your name. Also, fun thing: if you’re eating in, they will serve you ceramic mugs, and it is the coolest thing ever. Also! Books are all free at the cafe; personally, I immediately snatched the Michelle Obama autobiography when I saw it on the shelf. Alongside the bookshelf is a quaint reading area with board games and magazines if you want to bring your friends along! Overall, cozy and a great place to study or draw!

3. The First and Last Tavern (939 Maple Ave, Hartford)

To end this odyssey, The First and Last Tavern opens a world of antique mystique—it seems frozen in time. However, its food and service remain timeless (in other words, the pasta was really good here). Because the restaurant is so close to campus, it’s an easy walk or drive, and it gives you a chance to see historic Hartford and the mesmerizing fields right next to the tavern. The service was lovely, and the booths were cozy with vintage photos carefully framed on the walls. Whether you’re there for lunch or dinner, the food is exquisite. All for a good price: a plate of spaghetti goes for 13 bucks plus tip. Open Tuesday through Sunday from 11:30 a.m to 9 p.m, the tavern is a comfortable seat-in restaurant with fantastic food.

For my final piece of Hartford wisdom, be sure to always look at the stoplights when crossing the road: the walk/stop lights don’t work in some places.

Charlotte Stack ’29

B&P Editor

Late at night on Sunday, September 27, Trinity College student Olivia Smith ’28, currently studying abroad in Rome, was reported missing by her family friends in the United States. Suspicions about her disappearance arose that Saturday morning, when her mom realized she had not posted anything on her Instagram story in over 48 hours. “I had told her to keep her Instagram updated,” Smith’s mother shared, “because that’s the best way for us to keep in touch. I don’t want to text her and she doesn’t want to text me, so it’s just easier to like the occasional story.”

Smith’s parents’ first action was to check her friends’ Instagram accounts, where they found that they had all posted photo dumps from their latest journey to Paris, France, that were primarily artsy scenes of Gothic architecture and blurry night-out pictures that were definitely taken in a drunken stupor with no identifiable people whatsoever. When this route to finding their daughter proved unsuccessful, they continued to other forms of social media as a means for discovery, as every good detective does. 

Her public and private Snapchat stories did not provide any information either, although it should be noted that the private story her parents had access to was named “Olivia’s Private Story”, and only one selfie (of her and her parents) had ever been posted. Italian detectives deduced that it was possible this was not her only private Snapchat story, and that Smith had deceived her parents with the nature of private stories. However, when the possibility of this was brought up, they became incredulous, and her mother continued to insist that she was “A cool mom, the kind of mom that you, you know, put on your private story!”

After a harrowing Sunday evening into Monday morning, Smith’s mother decided that as a last-ditch effort, she would send her daughter a text message to check up on her. It read: “You ok?” Sent at 10:50 am Eastern Standard Time, it was only 2 minutes before a bubble with floating dots appeared, followed by the subsequent text reading: “Yeah, why?” This rocked the Rome Police department to their core. No one had thought to directly reach out to Smith, so her mother taking initiative really shocked them. 

Apparently, as it turns out, Smith was okay the entire time. In an emailed statement to the Tripod, she wrote, “Yeah I don’t really know why they even thought I was missing. I just wanted to take a break from Instagram all the time. If my mom had just texted me when she first thought I was missing, literally none of this would have happened.” 

The Tripod reached out to the Smith family for comment after their daughter was found to be safe, but they have not responded at the time of publication.