Liepod: Fox News Trinity Alumni Return to Teach Media Course

ChatGPT ’25

Esteemed Writer

Esteemed Trinity alumni Jesse Watters ’01 and Tucker Carlson ’91 are set to return to campus for the Fall 2023 semester. The two alumni, who both studied history at the College, will be co-teaching a course in the writing, rhetoric, and media studies department. Hoping to ensure the legacy of Trinity churning out prestigious journalists, such as Watters and Carlson, a collaborative effort between President Berger-Sweeney and the Board of Trustees brought the course, titled Introduction to Fake News, to fruition. 

“Trinity is proud of its alumni, especially these nice two young boys and how they represent our College’s true core values: lying, cheating, and stealing,” said President Berger-Sweeney. The President also shared that in her conversations with the two “journalists,” they spoke fondly of their time at Trinity and always felt like they fit in with the community. 

“Tucker speaks so highly of his time here and his studies. One thing he loved about his history courses was how everyone he learned about was just like him: a white, wealthy man born into the right family,” she continued. 

The course, which is open to all students but with a preference for those with an economics major and formal organizations minor, will teach students “the basics of good journalism.” Such skills include: fact-checking nothing, tweeting everything that comes to mind, blindly following the pack, and appearing as if you are not allowed to be alone with women and children. 

Besides the hopes of continuing Trinity’s legacy, motivated of course by the upcoming Bicentennial, a recent interaction between Watters and two Trinity students tugged at the heart strings. 

“There was no politics when I went to Trinity,” Watters explains. His fear is that students are becoming too smart, reading and engaging with a variety of sources, and developing critical thinking skills. 

“If this keeps up, who is going to vote Republican?” Watters questions, fear in his eyes. When asked what helped him become the conservative gentleman he is today, Watters said that binge drinking, skipping class, and wearing “salmon” colored shorts were all essential parts of his journey. 

The Tripod reporter also asked Watters how having a public affair fit into his superior conservative morals and family values, to which he responded with silence and bulging eyes. 

Carlson, feeling he was not getting enough attention from the Tripod reporter, shared that the class would have several special credit assignments “outside the traditional curriculum.” Such opportunities include a special point system, honoring students for being “politely asked to leave their boarding school,” being asked where their father works, and for using “summer” as a verb. 

The course will be held in the Life Sciences Center, which the two anchors agreed is the building that best embodies masculinity on campus. 

“There’s no rainbow flags on that one,” Carlson said of the selection. The building also resembles a prison, with very little natural light, which is what the two believe the education system should be like. 

Required texts for the course include Andrew Jackson’s inauguration speech, the Ronald Reagan autobiography, all of Trump’s Twitter, and Mein Kampf.