Exposing Banty: Why Has He Been Spotted Streaking Across Campus?

Chicken Expert ’24

Clothing Advocate

There has been a lot to celebrate on campus lately. Spring is right around the corner and we are starting to catch glimpses of the nice weather. While bittersweet, our seniors and faculty are preparing for graduation and an exciting next step. And, most recently, our sports teams have done fantastically well over the fall and winter seasons, undeniably causing a lot of excitement among the campus community. And, perhaps as you all may know, one such fellow bantam has been swept up by the buzz on campus and has responded in a peculiar way.

If you stopped by the Bistro on Thursday afternoon, you would have noticed a boisterous celebration happening in honor of the success of our sports teams this year, with Banty acting as head cheerleader. With the help of his partner, he made his rounds dancing and celebrating Trinity, he even got a cake to congratulate our community on the past few months. The celebration was fun for all. However, maybe a little too much fun (for one). Perhaps he ate a little too much cake, but in a picture on Instagram, Banty can be seen wearing… nothing. Later that Thursday evening, some confused and concerned students reported seeing the naked Banty streaking across campus.

Following the initial concern about such an event occurring, Banty was questioned regarding his actions. Of course, streaking often lends to doubt surrounding hazing and the pledging process of new members in fraternities. Especially after such heightened awareness and concern for such matters has swept across Trinity’s administration and campus community, concern for Banty’s well being intermingled with unmatched confusion over how Banty entered the rush process and has been covertly pledging over the past semester and questions revolving around which fraternity on campus would commit to haze Banty, have become fixtures of conversation as of late. The question thus had to be stated: Is Banty a new member of a fraternity on campus? However, such matters are difficult to disclose, so our first question was: “What compelled you to strip off your clothes and streak straight across campus?” 

Upon being asked this question, Banty seemed conflicted about answering. Perhaps he was embarrassed? Or, perhaps he was trying to conceal the truth and protect his new brothers. Banty responded by saying that he decided to streak merely “to call attention to and perpetuate the celebration on campus.” However, after further questioning, Banty led on that he streaked from Vernon Street to Crescent Street to catch the attention of all in hopes of giving Trinity a taste of its “old-school fun and flair.” After the campus has been consistently moving away from its old ways and campus culture, Banty recalled the “pure, crazy fun” of old Trinity and wanted to encourage the beginning of a new trend.

It was not confirmed whether or not Banty is the newest member to Trinity’s Greek Life or if his action was simply a command. However, Banty’s action was not an isolated incident and he was seen again streaking through campus late Thursday and into Friday. Even worse, Banty was seen naked and streaking again this past Saturday amongst a particularly confused and astonished crowd. Saturday was the Easter egg hunt, at which hundreds of excited small children and their parents gathered to partake in innocent and fun holiday activities, which has prompted an investigation into Banty’s indecent exposure to minors. Banty’s inappropriate exposure was that much worse at such an event and the inopportune spectators were horrified at the day’s outcome. It is an unsolved campus mystery and the administration is concerned such obscene events will take root in Trinity’s culture and become a new feature on campus.