The Phrase We Hear at All College Visits, “Finding Your People,” is Overrated and Leads to Forming Cliches

Rajsi Rana ‘26

Contributing Writer

“Finding your people” is one of the most common phrases a college freshman hears. It seems to be embedded in every single college-related article, TikTok video, YouTube video, and conversation. It is also something commonly used as a brownie point for colleges. While I was researching and applying to colleges, I watched hundreds of videos that talked about different colleges in a positive light simply because the people making those videos had “made some of their best friends here.” 

I get it; it is human nature to hold on to the people you fit with. They are comfortable to be around, and they make you feel more yourself. It is safest to remain with people who are like you in some way, but what if we all let go of the idea that we only fit in with “our people?” What if we all ventured out of our friend groups more often? Different friends bring out different aspects of your personality. Being surrounded by different and diverse people will allow you to learn much more than being surrounded by people who are similar to you.

I got lucky at Trinity: I made some good friends very quickly. However, this same concept of finding a group of people I fit in with put a lot of pressure on me in high school, and I subconsciously was disappointed in myself for not making a group of friends I felt completely comfortable with right at the start of freshman year. It took me the entirety of four years for me to have a friend group in which I was close with everyone and to realize that some of my closest friends weren’t in my “group.” It was only until senior year that I truly made friends outside of my designated circle because I let go of the idea that, because I had a group, I had found all the people I would connect with.

A couple months into Trinity, us freshmen have settled a bit. When we see new people, our instinct isn’t to go into conversation mode anymore, we’ve relaxed a bit, and settled for more of a smile and wave. I’m all for the decreased surface-level conversations many of us had the first few days of being here, but getting to know one another beyond the superficial is still important, even though many of us have found groups with people we connect with well.

This mindset, that once you’ve found a group of people you fit in with you’ve found everyone you connect with, encourages cliques—something undeniably apparent at Trinity (and at most colleges). It is easy to fall into a clique once you’ve found people who make you feel like you, something most of us are missing as we are away from our friends and family from home. However, be mindful of the space you leave for others to join. The likelihood you found your best friends for the next four years all in the first month is low. Allow room in your mind for more people.