Alex Gervais ’28
Purveyor of Spookiness
On Oct. 19, US News and World Report released their annual list of the spookiest colleges and universities in the nation, with Trinity coming in at a commanding number four. This is an improvement for the College, which came in at number 19 the year prior and number 17 in 2024.
The publication, often heralded for their college ranking lists, uses a methodology balancing campus architecture, history of the college and “that eerie feeling in the pit of your stomach” to create their rankings. The ranking noted Trinity’s gothic architecture and the “lifeless stares of economics majors” as the prime reasons for the high placement in its report. The school’s food was also a primary driver of spookiness, the ranking noting that Trinity students seemed “in a constant state of terror” when within a 200 foot radius of Mather pork loin.
Some other colleges finishing high in the rankings were Liberty University at number seven, heralded for their “seemingly endless” string of graduates with uncanny valley facial features, and Salem St. University at number three, noted for being in Salem, MA, thus they must be spooky. Taking home the number one spot was American University, the ranking noting that at 2 a.m. each night the student body arises, haunted by the ghost of Paul Ryan’s political career, and collectively presses send on a congressional internship application in unison.
Across the NESCAC, Wesleyan ranked at number 29, with the ranking calling their student body “downright terrifying to spend time with,” and Hamilton came in a strong 15th, most of their points coming from “nobody really knowing what in the world is going on up there.”
“We’re happy to report the campus is spookier than ever,” said George M. Terrifying ’85, Trinity’s newest VP of Student Camaraderie and Advanced Returning Excellence (SCARE). “When I was here as a student, the campus was borderline ghoulish, but now we’ve created a really special experience for our Halloween inclined student body… As VP of [SCARE] I’m proud to announce we’ll be rolling out programming in cooperation with the Ghost of Trinity’s Night Life and the English Department; they always like to talk about how their building is haunted.” Terrifying made no indication of programming specifics, although he warns the Tripod’s readers to be on the look out for “those really loose Peter B’s lids” to be making a comeback. “I really see my job as making the student experience at Trinity as grotesquely terrifying as possible.”
