Scary Stories On Summit: Hey Girly

Ex-Girlfriend ’25

Angry, Not Surprised

For most of us, we fear the simple things in life…ax murders, the human organ trade, and of course the common household spider, but for those in a relationship, our fears are not that simple… thus the following (or a rendition of the following) may or may not be your worst nightmare, please be advised it may hit too close to home.

Picture this, your boyfriend of a year and one month is currently abroad. You are fully convinced that you two are endgame. You’ve met the parents, and he came to your house in (insert waspy beach town name here) over the summer. When he mentioned that he was going abroad with “the boys’’ this fall, of course you were a little worried. You questioned how you would make things work, and well… you’re no Mathilda Djerf, but after all, you are in love, and nothing can come between you two, or so you thought…

It was a crisp mid October evening, everything seemed great, you had not a care in the world. Your night had turned into the wee hours of the morning and your roommates were piled in the common room, rehashing the evening’s escapades. You are scrolling through instagram, when you notice a DM request. lol it’s probably some rando inquiring if you would be interested in “$500.00 a week in exchange for….” but you’re immediately proven wrong as you open the dm…the profile picture of the sender features a 20 something blonde and her bio reads, TULANE & NJ. You begin to read the DM:

Hey Girly,

I know we don’t know each other but I feel the moral obligation to tell you that I hooked up with (insert said boyfriends name here). I feel absolutely terrible and I would have never done this if I knew (insert soon to be ex-boyfriends name here) had a girlfriend. You seem SO pretty and SO smart and cool, and the last thing I’d want to do is be a home-wrecker. You have every right to hate me and think I’m a terrible person, but I think you should know that I met (insert POS’ name here) on hinge… so I would assume that I’m not the only one he’s hooked up with. This is so shitty and I truly had no idea and even though we don’t know each other, I think you should dump him because you deserve so much better. Keep your head up high, Queen, and remember you are so much better than him. Also, if you’re ever at Tulane, LMK! I’d love to hang.

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