Classified Documents Regarding Greek Week Failure Leak

HARTFORD, APRIL 9 – Many members of the Trinity community are upset about the events that transpired over Greek Week, a week in which members of Trinity’s fraternities and sororities compete to raise money for charity. A lack of planning and foresight was cited as the cause of this chaos, but B&P reporters were able to get insider information as to what went wrong. Sources told reporters that the administrators responsible for this programming allegedly got confused as to what “Greek” meant in this context and invited a gaggle of old Greek men as well as men dressed up in togas to campus to “increase school spirit.” When the error was revealed, it was too late to efficiently plan anything. It is still believed that there is a man named Stavros wandering the premises asking for Koulourakia. If you see him, contact authorities immediately.