<3 An Open Letter to the New Baby Bants <3

Older and Wiser ‘24

Not Qualified to Advise

So, you have now completed your first two weeks of freshman year, and hopefully have avoided passing out on your communal bathroom floor! Congrats! I’m sure you’re thinking to yourself, wow everyone looks so old! But don’t worry, those are just the 21 year old freshman hockey players that you’re seeing (they just went to taft for four PG years). In all seriousness, freshman year is great. For those who are the embodiment of the boarding school to NESCAC pipeline, you’ve already mastered the art of avoiding your sneaky link on campus, but if this is your first time away from home, let me give you the gist. You will see every person who you have hooked up with in any or all of the following places; Peter B’s, Bistro, and the line at the post office. Now that we have gotten that out of the way, I suggest you avoid hooking up with the following; your brother’s best friend, anyone in your first year seminar and last but certainly not least someone who works at your campus coffee shop of choice.
XOXO,
Older Bant

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