Alex Gervais ’28
Never Been to H&L, Ever
In this week’s most important news on campus, a freshman has tried his first beer. The exclusive interview is detailed below:
“Yeah man I just wasn’t a super big drinker in high school” Leight Miller ’30 told the Tripod. “Like my friends said I was lame or whatever, but it just wasn’t my thing. That’s not really how I was raised by my parents. I mean, I had a suncruiser one time at my friend’s grad party, but that was it for me in terms of drinking.”
When asked to describe the experience Miller said: “Like so good, unbelievably good. It was this fizzy, wheaty, hoppy experience. I couldn’t drink just one too, I ended up having three, THAT’S how good they are.” Photos from the night later leaked to the Tripod show he was served a Coors Banquet, and our editorial staff can’t blame him, that’s a pretty decent beer.
“I tried it at a dorm party my friend threw in his Jackson quad. I was definitely hesitant at first but my friends all started drinking and said I should too,” said Miller. “I think there’s a term for that, but I can’t remember what; they didn’t teach me that in high school.”
The Tripod sought out comments from upperclassmen, most of them saying the exact same thing to us: “I remember my first beer.” One senior gave us a more detailed answer: “Simpler times. Oh man I miss that so much” said Hugh Drinkar ’27. “Life was so much better back then, but alas.”
Miller is excited for what will come next in his budding drinking career: “it’s like there are endless possibilities. Maybe I’ll try a Bud heavy next, maybe even a Yuengling. I’ll definitely be at the Tap on Thursdays from now on, my boy just ordered some fake IDs off of the class snapchat story, so we’ll definitely get in now. That new bouncer has nothing on us.”
