Babe! Wake up! It’s (almost) DILF & MILF Day! Parents Weekend Countdown! T-Minus ten days!

Not Too Young, I Swear

Has Daddy Issues

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Nest, the weekend that we all simultaneously dread and look upon with anticipation, is quickly approaching. In ten short days, the ‘rents will be arriving, and you know what that means, well actually it means a few things. We all know the drill, for 48 hours you will be forced to swiftly navigate boozing with your entire family,(much-younger-step-mother included). But that’s not all! With a small student body, we have learned that awkward run-ins are frequent, and that will not change this weekend. Thus, just accept that an awkward run in with your sneaky link and their entire family is inevitable (if you’re lucky you’ll get to see the family dog, Coco). Moreover, if you have just found yourself in a serious relationship of just three weeks, you will more likely than not, be faced to meet the parents. I know what you’re thinking, it can’t be that bad! Maybe you summered in neighboring towns, or you went to rival prep schools, but just accept the fact that Mrs. Mother of the walk-on Lacrosse player, will never love you the way she did with her son’s previous girlfriend (they still follow each other on Instagram, and comment on each others’ posts). Even if you don’t have a sneaky link to avoid, or a meeting of the parents in the near future, don’t for a second think you are getting out of this weekend unscathed. Have you seen your parents recently? A lot can happen in two months, and Dr. Something-berg can work wonders, taking decades off of the face, in a matter of days. Thus, if your 45-year-old-mother, who is actually 56 rolls up to campus, you may as well accept defeat, your teammates have already deemed her a MILF. And your Dad’s aren’t exempt either, just look at Brad Pitt and Bradley Cooper, they’ve been aging like fine wine. Nevertheless, when you bring your fam to the frat, don’t be surprised if the 25 year old 5th year begins to hit on your newly-single-and-newly-improved mother, moreover, it’s game over if they catch sight of your new soul cycle instructor turned step mother! It really is a family affair! And remember, get the family photo at H&L.

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