Inspiring Words from Founder of The Cave, Unga the Caveman

Claude Levi-Jeans ’25

Cultural Anthropologist

Many students have become fondly acquainted with the employees staffing The Cave as they make their weekly visits to stock up on drinks, snacks, and other small indulgences. What many people don’t know is that The Cave’s namesake comes from more than just being in a basement. In fact, The Cave was founded by a real-life cavemen known as Unga. Despite his usual shyness and preference for staying behind-the-scenes, the Tripod was fortunate enough to sit down with Unga for a conversation.

Naturally, we conducted our interview in The Cave itself. The big-browed Neanderthal barely fit in the booth across from me, his leopard-skin pelt hanging loosely off his bulging muscles. He had a good sense of humor – after I thanked him for meeting with me, he replied, “Urgh, bur gruh muragh duh.” I began by asking him about his motivations for creating The Cave. “Agh buh grunt urk, uh muh Unga loogoo,” he told me. It was touching to know that his childhood spent growing up in a cave with nothing but bones to gnaw on inspired him to create an environment abundant with delicious goods.

When asked what his favorite product sold at The Cave was, he said “Bunga!” and stuck his tongue out in a playful and endearing manner while holding up a can of soda. I related to him how I always look forward to my visits to The Cave, enjoying the routine of it and the friendly staff members. He smiled and said, “Unga dunga gurk urp. Wah blah gunga goo.” I was touched by his honesty and compassion, and thought I might have even seen a few wistful tears forming in his deep-set eyes.

Unfortunately, things went sour when I touched on an evidently painful topic. When I asked him, “Why have they stopped offering chipotle mayo at The Cave?” he roared loudly and struck the table with his large wooden club. After a brief rampage, Unga calmed down and we were able to resume the interview. I assume that it is partially for reasons such as this that he does not make public appearances often. 

Attempting to reverse the foul mood, I tried to end things on a positive note. “What are your hopes for the future of The Cave?” Unga smiled and told me that, “Hunga bunga ook urg.” Despite his temper, I found this hulking prehistoric apeman to be a well-developed and civilized fellow. We both laughed and shook hands (I still have a bruise thanks to his brute strength), and I smiled as he retreated back into the depths of The Cave from whence he had came.

The greater Trinity College community has much to learn from Unga’s entrepreneurial passion and big heart (and everything else). If you are lucky enough, you might be able to catch him once in a while outside of his lair. If you do, give him a can of Diet Coke just to be sure you’re on his good side.