It’s Cool to be Conservative

Being Censored ’24

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I’ve never been so excited to say it, but it’s truly cool to be conservative. As a young American man, I’ve been on the front lines of this hyper masculine identity revival, and I’m ready to join in. For far too long I’ve watched from the sidelines as my friends joined the burnerverse and donned MAGA hats, I simply felt left out. When the guys at the end of my hall hung Trump flags in their quad I asked, “why didn’t you invite me?” The hours of right wing content I’ve scrolled through on Twitter and TikTok opened my third eye: my new idol is sigma male Andrew Tate. As an impressionable young man, I’m relieved that I’ve found brotherhood (yes, that kind of brotherhood) in the new conservative movement.

The Republican party is not what it used to be. The once weak-willed, RINO party has transformed into a powerful agent of patriotic, masculine change. The days of feeble leaders like George H.W. Bush and Newt Gingrich have come to an end, now red-pilled Logan Paul and our glorious leader President Donald J. Trump bravely lead the Republican party to greatness. Not only has the party’s identity changed, but its constituency has as well. In 2012, 36% of voters aged 18-29 supported Mitt Romney, but in 2024 that number skyrocketed to 47% for Donald Trump. This trend becomes even more enlightening when considering that only 42% of young men voted for Romney, while 49%, a plurality of the electorate, voted for Trump. Increasingly, young men are entering the fold as reliable Republican voters, finally saving young Americans from the woke liberal agenda.

The sources of the conservative revolution are varied, but identifiable. Most important is the righteous conviction of conservatism’s core ideal: America first. It’s Exodus 20:3 that proclaims: “Thou shalt have no other gods before me.” In that same vein, I assert that we shall have no other countries before America. It’s not our job to meddle in other nations’ affairs to support a charade of democracy or protect human rights, we must instead focus on domestic issues. America first also means winning the trade war and protecting our way of life. For far too long the American people have struggled under the yoke of unabashed ‘free’ trade. We have allowed for adversarial nations like Mexico, China and especially Canada to steal our American jobs and cripple the purchasing power of the American worker. With tariffs on all foreign made goods and the repeal of the unconstitutional NAFTA agreement, we shall suffer no longer. These changes, along with obliterating the wokeness and DEI from our society of course, will bring America back to the good old days.

The impacts of the conservative revolution will be permanent. This generation of young men refuses to be liberal, chudjak soyboys and instead is embracing a patriotic, masculine identity. We will refuse to allow the indoctrinating plague of wokeism into our hearts and minds, for Jesus Christ and President Trump are our only guiding lights. Some may call me a “bible thumper” or “ignorant to the point of sheer lunacy,” and to that I want to remind the reader that Jesus walked alone before preaching to all, that Trump first polled at one percent in the 2016 GOP primaries before becoming the most beloved president America has ever seen, and that Andrew Tate was a failed kickboxer before starting the most successful sex trafficking ring in Romanian history. Through conservatism, we can accomplish anything.